In psychology, the real self and the ideal self are terms used to describe personality domains. The real self is who I am and the ideal self is who I want to be. The degree to which the two selves are congruent, is equal to the degree of peace of mind.

The body is the innermost part of the material Self in each of us; and certain parts of the body seem more intimately ours than the rest.

Almost 130 years ago, James (1890) introduced the distinction between “Me” and “I” (see Table 1 for illustrative quotes) to the debate about the self. The former term refers to understanding of the self as an object of experience, while the latter to the self as a subject of experience 1.

James describes self esteem as how we view our self image, and whether or not we approve of it. It also links in with our inner values which define our ego that was mentioned before. The self image is further described as being our social roles, body image, and personality traits.

High self-esteem promotes positive affect and personal growth, psychological well-being and coping as a buffer against anxiety in the knowledge of our eventual certain death, and reduces defensive anxiety related behaviour.

Consequences of Low Self-Esteem

• create anxiety, stress, loneliness, and increased likelihood of depression.
• cause problems with friendships and romantic relationships.
• seriously impair academic and job performance.
• lead to increased vulnerability to drug and alcohol abuse.

People with a low self-esteem tend to set higher expectations for themselves, making it harder to achieve those goals. With higher expectations, it was studied to bring lower grades on assignments in school because the person has not reached their goal.

Signs of low self-esteem

• avoiding new things and not taking up opportunities.
• feeling unloved and unwanted.
• blaming others for their own mistakes.
• -not being able to deal with normal levels of frustration.
• -negative self-talk and comparisons to others.
• fear of failure or embarrassment.
• difficulty making friends.

Living with low self-esteem can harm your mental health and lead to problems such as depression and anxiety. You may also develop unhelpful habits, such as smoking and drinking too much, as a way of coping.

The Student With Low Self-Esteem

1. Praise the student in a specific and genuine way.
2. Show the student tangible evidence of progress.
3. Showcase her accomplishments.
4. Help the student feel important in class.
5. Engage the student in conversation about her interests.
6. Help the student deal with adversity.
7. Encourage a sense of belonging.

When parents are over-involved, their excessive control over how their children define themselves in the world provides few opportunities for the child to self-reflect and have his or her own positive thoughts and feelings. In both cases, the development of self-confidence and self-esteem are compromised.